thoughts we ALL have when scrolling through Instagram

– Ahh, everybody’s favourite cute couple being cute again.  If they broke up, I’d actually give up hope.  I don’t even know them that well but if they can’t make it work then nobody can.  Sad truth.

– What is it about blue sea and sky?  Easy to have a cute fun feed when that’s your backdrop.  Those Cali/Aussie guys got it so good.

– Your photos are nothing to write home about, but your witty captions make me laugh therefore I like you.

– Bet it took a good few attempts to settle on that flat lay arrangement.  You’ve nailed it though, well done.  Also bet there’s a pile of ugly wires and empty cups just out of shot.

– Oh my, you grew into your looks, didn’t you!  Neville Longbottom effect in action right there.

– Food photos when I’m hungry, again.  Every bloody time.

– I want your life by the time I’m your age.  Wait, you are my age (or younger).  What?

– Well… if I’d known that event was happening, I’d have gone.  How did they all find out about it?

– Themes and consistency are all well and good, but seriously, every photo is basically the same.  Variety, puh-lease!

– A* for effort in the contortionism that photo of your shoes must’ve taken.

– How did you make that look nice?  I mean, anyone can make flowers look pretty because well, flowers are pretty.  But porridge?  My porridge is anything but pretty.

– Why do white borders make feeds 10x more appealing?  I’ve realised this too late.

– Your talent in finding a GIF for everything is remarkable.

– Yes, I stalk your photos; no, I won’t give you the satisfaction of knowing that I do by actually following you.  You’re doing the same with me.  Let’s keep it that way.

– Must not accidentally like any of your photos.  *Taps screen very lightly and carefully, holding phone at the edges*

– You smiled!  What?!?  You never smile!  Wait, it’s a photo from an event that it’d be bad not to post.  You didn’t actually want the world to see your teeth.

– I wonder how many chairs you had to stand on for that photo of the entire table in that restaurant?  Brave move!

– Pleaseeee stop pouting.  I just can’t deal.

– Your bio says you’re 9?!?  Back in the day when I was 9, Nintendogs was where it was at.  Yes, I know half of you reading are probably tutting and thinking ‘well back in MY day…’ but still.  Times are changing so quickly.

– Even worse when the ones pouting are the 9 year olds.

– This is productive.  I’m finding inspiration.  Let’s see what Explore has picked for me today.

– Explore/Discover/Whatever it’s called these days knows my taste better than I do.  I think the internet in general knows my taste better than I do.

– Your account is private.  How do you have so many followers?  How have you lured them in with one tiny profile picture and a bio?  I’m gonna have to find out.  *Follows*

lily kate x

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