web analytics
8 In lifestyle/ ramblings

since when did it become cool to be rude?

If there’s one general trend doing the rounds lately, it’s the super sassy, badass, ‘girls taking over the world’ idea. It’s all over slogan t-shirts, the subject of many a meme, and just a general vibe being shared all over social media.

‘Not your bae’

‘Cooler than you’

‘I’m not listening’

Pretty sure you know the ones I mean.  All about girl power and being the sassiest sasspot there ever was.  I’ll be the first one to champion equal opportunity, and obviously, obviously, I’m a feminist.  We still 100% need to keep pushing the feminism message, because I’m not daft enough to think that we live in a fair and equal world.  Howeverrr, elements of this trend really don’t sit right with me.  Girl power and being ‘sassy’ is great, but… since when did it become cool to be rude and pass it off as ‘badass’, huh?!?  Yes to girls having equal opportunities and equal well… everything to men, but no to women suggesting they’re superior (to either men or other girls).  How can that possibly help in the long run?  If the feeling behind all these slogans is rooted in feminism, then anything that suggests pitting girls against each other is surely going to do more harm than good.

What’s wrong with being nice?  Recently I’ve seen the phrase ‘sassy bitch’ used as a compliment, and I just can’t get my head around it. ‘Badass’ is being used as an excuse to be rude.  Sure, sometimes the term is just used to describe a powerful person, but often this is in conjunction with belittling others.   What strikes me is that often it’s the people who harp on about supporting other girls who then go on to be too ‘badass’ to do so.  They neglect to mention that this ‘support’ is only available to the girls who boost their ego or social status.  Sure, the phrase ‘girls support girls’ is kicking around a lot and looks good on a slogan tee, but I think that’s part of the problem.  It’s cool to say that you support other girls, but not to actually do it, in many cases.  

What’s the obsession with being a queen or princess?  Not sure about this phrase.  Kind of implies that you think you’re better than everyone else.  More worthy of attention.  Deserving of being treated like royalty.  Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s all meant to be taken with a pinch of salt, but still.  There’s an awful fine line between confidence and cockiness, and I’m not sure if the whole ‘I’m such a queen’ trend treads awful close to it.  It’s a step up from diva, and a step down from blatantly saying ‘I’m better than you’.  Yes, it’s just a trendy phrase to say, but a trendy phrase that implies superiority.

Why is being intimidating a good thing?  It almost like creating this ‘badass’ persona provides a security blanket.  People should know not to cross you because you’ll come back with a sarcastic putdown, right?  I’ve found this to be particularly bad in the online world.  Personally I’d hate to think that anybody felt intimidated by me or thought I was unapproachable; it’s not a characteristic I’d be proud of.

Why does refusing to crack a smile seem to buy street cred?  Both in real life or on social media.  Part of being a ‘badass’ seems to involve not returning a smile or acknowledging another girl; no it doesn’t make you cool or sassy, it makes you rude.  I honestly think some girls believe that a refusal to be seen smiling puts them on some kind of pedestal, and I seriously hope that this is a dying trend.  We all do the occasional resting bitch face photograph, but if you actually see people out and about, for God’s sake make eye contact and smile.  It costs nothing.

tshirt: River Island

I really do hope this doesn’t come across preachy, and I’ll admit that I’m probably guilty of using some of these phrases myself on the odd occasion.  However, it’s a trend that I’ve found irritating for a while now and I’d love to discuss.  What are your thoughts on being a sassy badass bitch?

Lily Kate x

Follow me on Bloglovin | Twitter | Instagram | YouTube | Facebook | LinkedIn | Email me



  • Reply
    9th September 2017 at 9:37 pm

    Oh god, I feel like I have to change my blog name now
    Bee xxx

    • Reply
      lily kate
      10th September 2017 at 9:57 am

      No no no, not at all! I don’t mean people literally having a blog name – I meant the ones who say they’re a queen/princess and demand to be treated as such. You don’t go round saying you’re Queen Rebecca and want to be treated like royalty 🙂 I don’t think of you using ‘Queen’ in a negative way any more than me using ‘house’ in my blog title – it’s just a name in that case. Besides, you’re one of the most lovely and supportive internet people I know!

  • Reply
    10th September 2017 at 4:48 pm

    Loved this post! I’m definitely guilty of sometimes using these phrases, but I’d like to make a conscious effort to stop doing that. I think kindness is biggest force we’ve got to use and I don’t understand how so many more people are not championing for that! xx

    Ps. Love that tee!

    Laura // Middle of Adventure

  • Reply
    Chris Cox
    14th September 2017 at 3:25 pm

    With you all the way on this one, Lily Kate. Just wait until you start looking for toys and baby clothes for little ones (for friends, obv). That’s a whole new frustrating experience.

    • Reply
      lily kate
      15th September 2017 at 2:21 pm

      I’m glad it’s not just me thinking this! I can’t say I’ve paid particular attention to the words on babies clothing (yet) but can imagine it’s a nightmare. Slogan free gifts coming from me!

  • Reply
    18th September 2017 at 3:31 pm

    I totally agree with you omg. These days , some people think it’s cool to be rude but it’s really not. I see it all the time on Twitter and it does irk me. Being a badass can be used in a positive way but a lot of people abuse the word and use it as an excuse for their outright rudeness. Sometimes I catch myself saying “no you’re not being a badass, you’re just rude.’ whilst scrolling through Twitter. Great post Lily Kate! xx
    Coco Bella Blog

    • Reply
      lily kate
      27th September 2017 at 4:13 pm

      We’re on the same page here! Twitter seems to be the worst, I see so many people being what they call ‘sassy’ which is actually just plain rude. Glad you liked my post!

  • Reply
    15th March 2018 at 7:20 am

    This is a good post that rings true with me, a GenXer feminist. I had Googled “Is being rude cool now?” because my smiles and hellos to young people are so often met with sullen stares and silence. Just trying to get some insight. I agree that feminism should be seen as equality of the sexes, not superiority of women to men (or to non-feminist women. for that matter). And the “bad girl” phenomenon is definitely a thing! I had to laugh. My niece-in-law and her bff (both 22) are the ones in my life currently. I hope they snap out of it before they alienate everyone who could or would help them. Anyway, thanks for this post, Lily Kate. I learned a lot.

  • Leave a Reply

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.