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23 In lifestyle


the least festive blogmas post ever.

This wasn’t the post I’d planned for today.  I’ll post that tomorrow instead.  Because sometimes life just throws you massive effing curveballs and you have to deal with it.

By life, I mean people.  And by curveballs, I mean people who swore blind they cared about you, turning as nasty as it’s possible to get, in a way that makes you sick to the bottom of your stomach.  I don’t even know how I feel tbh.  I feels slightly weird to be sharing these thoughts so publicly, but I’ve spoken about other bloggers and honesty about breakups before so should probably follow my own advice.  I won’t air all my dirty laundry and rant – that doesn’t gain anybody anything.  But it’s always the people who you let in closest that have the power to hurt the deepest, isn’t it?  The power to hurt the most, and the determination to do so, too.  A sudden 180 that makes you question ever trusting people again.

‘I love you a lot…

but I hate you more’

Yeah, this post wasn’t what I’d planned.  Blogmas, eh?  I’ll write through good and bad.

lily kate x

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  • Reply
    3rd December 2015 at 3:08 am

    Feel better. Hugs coming your way.

    • Reply
      lily kate
      3rd December 2015 at 7:11 pm

      Hugs are very much appreciated. Thank you!

  • Reply
    3rd December 2015 at 4:27 am

    So sorry Lily! What? !! You have my personal email address if you want to get in touch.

    This turning nasty business sounds horrible and you don’t deserve it. The blogging and breakups post you did a while ago made me think that it can be lonely business being a blogger. I am so sorry that someone has let you down. Someone who was a real life important person to you and not just a blog friend. jI am sorry that you are hurting a lot at the moment. Take care!

    • Reply
      lily kate
      3rd December 2015 at 7:14 pm

      It’s really just not necessary to go out of your way to hurt someone is it?
      I’m sure it is lonely for full time bloggers, but I just felt like it would be really dishonest of me to pretend everything’s hunkydory when it’s not, and I want my blog to remain an honest place.
      Thank you!

  • Reply
    Pendle Stitches
    3rd December 2015 at 1:12 pm

    I’m never clear why it has to turn nasty. But you can hold your head up that you’re maintaining your dignity. Be gentle with yourself. Hugs. x

    • Reply
      lily kate
      3rd December 2015 at 7:40 pm

      Thank you Evie! I’m not clear about any of it tbh. Lots of love x

  • Reply
    Bash Harry
    3rd December 2015 at 2:31 pm

    People are complex and stupid and weird and crazy and most of the time, no one really understands them. I’ve had my personal share of curveballs. I had a falling out (more like crash) with a blogger I thought was my friend, that also culminated to a break up of another. It makes you question everything and worry and get scared but hey, we’re still here.

    At least I am for you. <3

    xx Bash | Hey Bash | bloglovin’

    • Reply
      lily kate
      3rd December 2015 at 7:44 pm

      Couldn’t have put it better Bash. It’s the shock factor that’s the worst and makes you feel most wary. What can you do though?
      I’m here for you too, whenever you need to talk!

  • Reply
    3rd December 2015 at 4:29 pm

    That’s so sad to hear. I don’t know you in person but thorough your blog and little interactions we had you seem like a very nice and positive person. Don’t let anyone to make you feel bad or negative . You are beautiful young woman and I’m sure that a lot of people honesty care about you. xo

    Antonia || Sweet Passions

  • Reply
    3rd December 2015 at 8:32 pm

    Oh noes! I just come out of a really, really bad time to have some news from you, and those news are not that good! I feel so sorry Lily, I hope you’ll be fine…
    No matter how hard it sounds, it happens we can recover from everything. Trust me, I just overcame it–being left alone, breaking up, no home and stuff… But here I am, still full of hope and life! And I hope you are too, happiness is just around the corner! Even in such dark times when you encounter nasty people, but it’s better to have those people out of you life as early as possible, even if it hurts. Pain helps growing up/old, and being wiser and wiser!
    Anyway, if you ever wanna chat with someone neutral, I am here. Just focus on all the people who send you love, and remember it’s totally okay to be sad and to express it.
    Be strong, Lily! I’m sending you tons of love from across the sea! <3

    • Reply
      lily kate
      8th December 2015 at 7:53 pm

      Thank you so much for your kind words! Just gotta remember that everybody has these rubbish times to go through. Means so much to know I have a support network of people like you, it really does!
      Lots of love! <3

  • Reply
    the press tent - Joli House
    3rd December 2015 at 11:29 pm

    […] different tone to yesterday’s post – I’m not miraculously OK already by any stretch of the imagination, but I did still […]

  • Reply
    4th December 2015 at 12:32 am

    all i can say hunni is that you deserve the best in life and this is still to come for you! I wont go into what happened me but believe me,there are better times ahead.Whoever has showed their nasty side has showed their true colours and are not the people/person who you would like them to be and them being like that shows that you are so much better off without xx

    • Reply
      lily kate
      8th December 2015 at 8:03 pm

      Hollie you sweetheart! <3 Thank you for being so supportive xxx

  • Reply
    4th December 2015 at 4:13 pm

    I’m really sorry to hear this! I hope that it’s not something that knocks you completely but that you need as much time as possible to get over it! I shall send positive thoughts to you and hopefully you won’t have anything else like this happen for a while!

    Lauren 🙂 x

    • Reply
      lily kate
      8th December 2015 at 8:05 pm

      Time is the one thing I really need right now! I’m just trying to remain positive about everything else and keep on going. Thank you!

  • Reply
    5th December 2015 at 8:49 pm

    Oh no, not again! Well, you just keep on keeping on girl! You’re beautiful, intelligent, and charismatic, and that can threaten a lot of people , male or female… learn to be your own best friend, and keep family close by at all times 🙂 xx

    • Reply
      lily kate
      8th December 2015 at 8:37 pm

      Does seem to happen to me doesn’t it! Thank you so much Jen <3

  • Reply
    9th December 2015 at 5:21 am

    Aw Lily! You’re such a lovely woman that’s so mature for her age. In my mind that says most boys won’t be up to par on your level till at least your mid twenties and they in their late twenties… I’ve been reading the blog since you were twelve and I’m an old ripe 23 (eek. Mid twenties are so much more stable than early twenties for me). Hope for healing and rest for whatever’s going on. I’m sure you’re Instagram husband is out there (bad reference to viral video going round. Actually sent link to guy I’m seeing bc I DONT want that AT ALL. Less a guy is on his phone the better. Current dude is on it a lot and now I know how my mother feels when I’m around…)


    • Reply
      9th December 2015 at 5:25 am

      Bit silly adding onto this comment and now I’m writing you a novel… These novels have really helped me in life and relationships: the art of asking by Amanda Palmer, daring greatly and the gifts of imperfection by Brene brown (have tissues), anything by Ann Lamott and captivating (if you consider yourself in the religious realm if not I wouldn’t recommend it).

      Also the Meyers Briggs test pairings and the ENNEAGRAM! If you enjoy quizzes and psychology check it out on: enneagramworldwide (Google a free test the actual test is 35$ def worth it but try the free one first). Learning my number and what number I prefer in men has been extremely useful. I’m a 6. I don’t see you as a 8/7/2. Maybe a 4/1/3 or even the rare female 5!!! Anyway. Comments actually over now.

      Cheers! Again….

    • Reply
      lily kate
      9th December 2015 at 5:43 pm

      Thank youuuu Kaitlin! I have thought that maybe I’m not looking at the right age group. How much I’ve changed since I was 12 though!
      I think I’m probably the one on my phone too much -oops!

  • Reply
    14th December 2015 at 5:18 pm

    Oh, Lily, so sorry! Those that love us will always hurt us the most… and in every life decade, it seems. I am in my 40’s, married 22 years, and we have both done our share of hurting each other. Thankfully, those times seem to be getting fewer and farther between. Maybe we are both mellowing with age, or are learning to really think things through before lashing out. At least, I know I am. Big hugs that when you DO find that “forever someone” you will both do a minimum of this hurting each other, but more importantly, will learn to work through those inevitable times when they do happen. Much motherly love!

    • Reply
      lily kate
      14th December 2015 at 6:39 pm

      Thank you so much for your lovely words! I guess things like this are always gonna happen, but some just find more hurtful ways of going about it.
      Lots of love to you too!

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