Just a few observations of mine! Thought I’d go for a more personal topic that’s bound to be relevant to most of us in some way, past or present. So, teenage relationships…
~There is literally never a ‘good’ time to get into one! Exams, going away to study, going home for the holidays, university decisions, committments, you get the gist. Nearly always something going on or some decision impending. Guess you’ve just gotta decide if it’s worth it!
~They can hurt, and contrary to what some older folks will tell you, the sting can last for quite some time. Carrie did a post about young relationships and their validity a couple of weeks ago, which made for a very interesting and relatable read. Drives me mad when people patronise and downplay any form of teenage relationships, because it’s just another instance where I believe age barely matters at all.Why would being young make feelings invalid?
~Facebook can be your best friend or your worst foe. And often both at the same time. Same for social media in general really! Great for getting to know people; great for others watching and getting involved too. Seen that one play out on a newsfeed too many times.
~Some boys can really surprise you but some are just downright shocking. I’m not denying that girls can be the same either. People’s attitudes can change soooo quickly that someone you thought you knew through and through can become essentially a stranger overnight. Probably not exclusive to teenagers tbh!
~‘Friends with benefits’ is apparently a thing for us 17 year olds?…err, no thank you boys. Makes for a funny film but tbh the reality sounds ridiculously messy.
~And a quote from a girly chat at college today: ‘I am not a time filler!‘ Do love a good girly chat. ;D Can kinda seem that some people just want company to fill little slots of boredom with. Yeah, us teenagers have busy lives, but really who wants to be shoehorned into that last available slot?
~Teenagers waste lots of time playing games to avoid the risky business of showing their true feelings. Makes it so refreshing when someone isn’t scared to speak with a little honesty!
So nothing groundbreaking here, just a few observations of mine. At the end of the day I still think that relationships are worth it, so am unlikely to let any of the above put me off for long. To quote myself from this post, ‘keep taking chances on people to make the memories whilst it lasts’. Why not ey? 🙂
lily kate x
follow me on bloglovin | twitter | instagram | youtube | email me
21 Comments
James
10th February 2015 at 10:48 pmI totally agree with the ‘there’s never a good time’ I find that a pretty poor excuse and basically a way of saying ‘I’m not committed enough to put in the effort to make this last’, if you really felt strongly about way each other then you would surely make time, or find a way no matter what the circumstance. The hurting thing too, when you’ve spent so much time getting to know the ins and outs of someone, getting used to doing everything together and making them such a bit part of your life, then having it all suddenly end because they’re not who you thought they were hurts, trust me I’ve been there too, but time is a great healer and you learn so much about yourself from teen relationships. I just believe that you’ll never get to the perfect place in anything during life without encountering failures along the way. I have chosen to be single for a little while now and it’s a great eye opener for helping you realise that you don’t need to rely on someone else for your happiness, you don’t have to go out there and worry about constantly searching for the perfect partner, but then again it also kinda makes you miss having someone. I just think the best opportunities come along when you least expect it and you should grasp it with open arms while you can to, like you said ‘make memories while it lasts’. 🙂
(sorry for the long ass soppy comment)
James
http://www.bloggerjames.co.uk
lily kate
11th February 2015 at 10:55 pmI guess if you want someone enough then you’ll make time, and that’s the be all and end all really! You’ve said exactly what I mean; someone can very quickly become a real part of your life so of course it’s gonna hurt when they no longer are. I feel like I’ve learnt lots already haha! There really is no perfect time for anything so best just to go for it really.
Long soppy ass comments are great, please don’t apologise 😀 Thank you so much for commenting!
Jenny
11th February 2015 at 6:07 amAh, teenage relationships. My teenage relationship actually taught me a lot about myself and what I want in future relationships. And that observation about Facebook is so funny but true- there was SO much drama in high school surrounding Facebook. Makes me glad that I’m past that phase, but also appreciate what it taught me 🙂
Jenny
http://www.fromthedeskofj.com
lily kate
11th February 2015 at 10:59 pmTime for learning, yes! Facebook can cause soo much crap it’s unreal, but it’s the other networks and apps that can stir it up too!
Thanks for stopping by 😀
Debi
11th February 2015 at 8:13 amI’m a big believer in giving teenage relationships a chance. After all, I married my teenage sweetheart. We met when we were just 15, started our relationship six months later and now ten years down the line we are married. I wouldn’t have it any other way. They might only be short lived in some cases but they can last too – I think I’m proof of that. Age is irrelevant in love, I think. Just because your a teen doesn’t mean your feelings are any less real or valid. That being said, when you are a teen/young adult I think you as a person can change a lot which is why people seem to change at the drop of a hat. Suddenly they are not who you thought they were because they aren’t who THEY thought they were. Well, that or they are just idiots.
Debi x
lily kate
11th February 2015 at 11:11 pmThat’s such a cute story! Happy for you guys 😀 Lucky to find each other so young and be so happy for so long! Haha some maybe are just idiots, not naming any names. 😉 But yeah, so many people change loadsss over these few years that it’s bound to happen I guess. Thank you for commenting Debi!
Max
11th February 2015 at 6:04 pmoh! This is the type of post that should probably make me kind of nervous. My daughters are still little and I do not want to look back on my teenage relationships. Yuck! Well, not so bad, but I am not that person anymore… cliche, cliche. .. yeah yeah. It is nice to know what other people are going through and to share information. And a sort of public relationship through social media, when it is shiny and new can be really fun to look in on. I am thinking of Vloglovers 4.0 with Liam and Minh. Thing I noticed is that when you are a teen in a relationship, you often do have other people commenting, predicting, advising. This can be good. I mean, parents usually have something to say, and you are part of a community, so being a couple doesn’t make you splinter off and float off into your own world. You can still exist in the context of other people having relationships or having had relationships. I like to hear about who you are hanging out with, what they are like, and the good things that change you, you know?
lily kate
11th February 2015 at 11:13 pmYour daughters will be teenagers before you know it! I wonder what I’ll think looking back on mine. I’ve never seen those two, I might have a look! And well said, yeah! The whole online thing isn’t always bad at all, it’s nice for others to see sometimes. Nosy aren’t we!
Megan
12th February 2015 at 8:08 pmWhen I was a teenager I thought it was the end of the world that I didn’t have a boyfriend and that when I finally found one he dumped me (three times…) but now I know that it was just pointless worrying. I know some people get together aged 14 and stay together forever so you shouldn’t dismiss young relationships but at the same time it’s just not worth worrying when they don’t work out!
Megan xx
London Callings
lily kate
15th February 2015 at 7:53 amDumped you 3 times? Really wasn’t worth the hassle then! Seems to be pure chance when you’ll find someone to spend many years with, some it’s at 14, some it’s at 40 and there’s no rhyme or reason to it whatsoever! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Corinne
13th February 2015 at 10:04 pmI feel like teenage relationships can probably do more emotional damage to you than an adult one. Jealousy, heartbreak and a lack of trust can be very intense and with all these new emotions that are all over the place, it can be hard for a teen to know how to deal. I know when I was younger I’ve been a bit mental when it comes to love, it’s embarrassing now but when you’re younger, it’s so hard to stay logical and so easy to let emotions take over!
Corinne x
lily kate
15th February 2015 at 7:56 amSo many people say they remember their teenage hurts that the emotional damage must be at least as great. Or maybe we just toughen up to it as we get older, who knows. Had some crazy times have you? 😉 I’ll try my best!
Benn Leyland
15th February 2015 at 1:28 amCompletely agree for the most part, Lily. I don’t think you can be too dismissive of relationships altogether, as every next one is a learning curve or compeletely unique to its predecessors. Like I’ve read some people reply, you gain a little bit more understanding of what you’d like from every one that doesn’t work, so all with a bit of hope, the next one could be the ideal relationship. It’s just like you say, time is such an essential part to it all- can really be a royal pain in the arse when it comes to finding time to chat or put yourself out there. I wouldn’t let it distract you too much at the moment, keep your priorities straight and look forward; who knows, you could just stumble upon something anyway? That’s enough ‘love-guru’ esque talk from me though😂 I do wish you the best in that regard. Have a good week off!
lily kate
15th February 2015 at 8:04 amYou speak words of wisdom Benn! With a bit of hope, yes haha. So many people our age(ish) have such busy lives that it seems time is the biggest obstacle, sadly. Not getting too distracted, no 🙂 Wishing you the best too, enjoy the half term!
lauren
16th February 2015 at 3:31 pmIf you think about it is any relationship really worth it? Especially as there is always going to be something you need to do! I do think that relationships for younger people are criticised a lot and it is unfair. I’ve had 3 serious relationships so far in my life and I’m only 23! My first relationship started when I was 15 and ended when I was 17. Did it hurt? Yes! Also, I was one of those mopey people who couldn’t seem to move! (I still don’t think I’d moved one when I started my next relationship woops!) I try not to patronise my siblings for their relationships for this reason.
I honestly think more people should talk about the serious side to teenage relationships otherwise all that’s going to be propagated is the silly flimsy excuses that are used as sub-plots in TV shows. Also really glad that Facebook wasn’t huge whilst I was a proper teenager! It was all about Bebo, and that was bad enough!
Lauren 🙂 x
lily kate
17th February 2015 at 3:38 pmI suppose when you put it that way, maybe not! Circumstances might change, but why would feelings be different at any age though? I’ve never really moped around after a breakup and am more the kind to distract myself with loads of other things. Doesn’t mean I’m not upset, I just tend to keep going along with everything anyway.
I never had Bebo haha! Social media is just such a big part of everybody’s lives that it’s bound to have an impact I guess!
Hollie Garner
17th February 2015 at 1:43 pmgreat post! I think we can only learn from the ups and downs of teenage relationships! I also think it can set us up to handle future disappointments if they occur! But my word,teenage breakups really hurt! But i do wonder if today’s social media puts pressure on teens to be in a relationship! #maybe! Bottom line,yes they are definately worth it as there is so much to be learned from them and they can be fun x
lily kate
17th February 2015 at 5:34 pmThanks Hollie! It’d feel weird to be 20 or so and have never experienced any kind of relationship or the troubles that can come along with it. Social media and all those #relationshipgoals kind of photos probably do put pressure on teens I guess!
age and friendships - Joli House
20th February 2015 at 11:05 am[…] other generations. I don’t see why age should really make a difference tbh, in general life as in relationships, as I said last week. Maybe because I was never restricted to only doing ‘kids’ […]
Bailey
26th May 2015 at 12:16 amI think about the question of whether or not teenage relationships are worth the possible heartbreak that will most likely occur, more so because of the fact that I have been in a relationship for a year and a month. (I am 15, turning 16 in June by the way, and my boyfriend is 9 months older than me) People so often say that teenagers cannot feel true love and that they only care about sex. But if I know one thing, I know that my boyfriend and I love each other. We’ve been through a lot and we’ve had to mature faster than most, as we are in college already. And when the topic of whether it is worth it or not comes up, I think about all the happy memories we’ve already had and all the things we’ve helped each other through, and realize that yes, it is worth it. I have one memory that stands out in this because it’s just so important. He went through a hard time and it almost got to the point of his taking his own life. I managed to help talk him down from it and that strengthened our relationship exceptionally. If we had never gotten together, he wouldn’t have had anyone to talk to and I can’t even bare to think about whether or not he would’ve gone through with it without someone there for him. So yes, teenage relationships can be worth it.
relationships | how timing can screw us over - Joli House
24th August 2016 at 10:29 pm[…] year. Load more waffle about why I think young relationships shouldn’t be disregarded in this post – throwing it back to January 2015 and my thoughts haven’t […]