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twenty two

My SIXTH birthday blog post. How on Earth did that happen? How strange it is to type ‘birthday’ into my blog’s search bar and find thoughts from my 16th birthday onwards. Back in the day I was a little more on the ball with writing posts on my actual birthday, but oh well. Here I am to share a few thoughts on my 22nd trip around the Sun a little after the fact.

Kelly, a long time internet-friend of mine, commented on my Instagram “I can’t quite believe you are 22 but at the same time feels like you’ve been 22 for quite some time”, and that summed up exactly how I feel. On the other side of the Atlantic, having never actually met me, Kelly voiced my thoughts better than I could myself. Funny that, isn’t it? I’ve always been a bit of an old soul, but at the same time feel like a teenager pretending to be an adult. 22 isn’t really an adult, is it? I have even more grey hairs than on my 21st birthday and am only asked for ID when buying supermarket wine about 50% of the time, but still. I don’t feel like a grown up.

So, 21. I started a job… ended said job… *almost* buggered up a year of uni work with an admin error but pulled it together at the last minute… chilled on a Greek beach for a week… started working for a brand I’ve loved for a long time… spent the summer on caravan trips around the UK with family… was *almost* part of a TV series… went to the first hen do and wedding of one of my friends… discovered hot yoga… chased a lot of invoices… and drank a lot of brews. So nothing particularly wild, but this is me we’re talking about. This year also involved the first photoshoot where I was the oldest one present – the photographer and MUA were 18 and 19 respectively (and both fabulous). I’ve never been the oldest one on set before! I’m used to being the baby in the team! Not any more. Overall, 21 has been a good year. But in some ways it felt like a ‘getting started‘ year, so I’m hoping 22 will be a ‘getting somewhere‘ year to follow. Would be nice to have more concrete achievements to report by my 23rd birthday, anyway!

Last year I said twenty one felt like a very in-betweeny age, and that definitely held true. feel like I’ve learnt lots in the past 12 months, both about the world and about myself (airy fairy as that sounds). From home truths about the working world, to how to make myself feel my most confident, there has been many an ‘a ha’ moment. ‘A year of realising stuff’, to use the one Kylie Jenner line I know. I’ve realised it’s normal (or at least I hope it’s normal) to feel like you’re absolutely smashing it and winning at life one day, and feel like you’re a failure getting nowhere the next. Even for a self-proclaimed reasonably confident person, confidence in myself ebbs and flows BIG TIME. From one hour to the next, some days! But I’ve reached the conclusion that that’s how life will probably always be and I should just get used to it, so that’s something age 21 taught me. Also, it’s cliché, but I do feel like I care less about what people think of me the older I get. The field in which I grow my f*cks is becoming ever more barren, to use one of my brother’s favourite phrases.

Several people commented on my Instagram that 22 is a good age, and to be fair it does have a greater than average number of songs written about it. I’m looking forward to being twenty two; I feel like it’ll suit me. What was your favourite age?

Lily Kate x

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  • Reply
    1st December 2019 at 1:46 am

    I remember your blog when you were like 12 or 14. 21/22 were my worst years, loads of health issues and a mega breakup.

    I’m gonna say 27 has been the best (so far- it’s my current age). I’m studying for a profession I feel suited for and love my job even though it involves all sorts of poop/12 hour shifts, as a nurse aide… I’ve had a wide range of jobs but this one seems to truly matter. I had my first patient death at the hospital job this week, they actually died in ICU that night but it’s unnervingly “holy” so to speak to have participated in that person’s last day on earth. I’ll always remember the handful of deaths from my assisted living job I had for six months as well.

    I turn 28 in 2 weeks- according to some things I’ve read, women feel “most beautiful” at 28 so we shall see. I’m also in a long term, almost 3 year relationship and happy in that. Younger me had no freaking idea I would be the hesitant party to get engaged/married. I also have two cats now instead of one and that’s been lovely. I’m training for my first half Ironman which has been a decade long goal. Younger me also would be horrified I wasn’t married by 25 let alone 30. She had a lot of odd “priorities.”

    Happiest of birthdays to you Lily.

    • Reply
      lily kate
      11th December 2019 at 10:50 am

      Thank you so much for commenting Kaitlin! It means so much that you’ve read my blog for so long, it honestly does.

      Sorry to hear 21/22 were difficult for you – I’m glad you’re feeling much better in yourself now! I have so much respect for nurses, it much be such a physically and emotionally draining job, but I imagine so rewarding too. I can totally imagine what you mean about it feeling holy to have participated in that person’s last day. They were lucky to have you by their side.

      I hadn’t heard that about feeling most beautiful at 28! I hope you feel fabulous on your 28th birthday and beyond 😀 Who cares what your younger self would think about marriage etc. when you’re happy smashing goals with a happy relationship and 2 cats 🙂

      Lily xx

  • Reply
    Olympia Whitestone
    6th December 2019 at 5:43 pm

    Lily Kate you’ve always been an inspiration. You may feel like an old soul but you are not only a very wise and grounded soul but also, to me at least, someone who is prepared to be different and try another way of approaching life. So, thanks for all your thoughts and I hope 22 is a great year for you.

    • Reply
      lily kate
      11th December 2019 at 10:52 am

      Oh Olympia thank you so much! Sometimes I feel somewhat wise, sometimes not so much haha. I’m glad that I’ve never felt pressured to do things the same way as everyone else, I can’t imagine being very happy if I had!

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