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8 In ramblings

being judged

It’s difficult to start this kind of post without sounding like I’m taking myself way too seriously.  On the one hand, some could be considered lighthearted and funny, and yet some are just kind of sad.  No matter what you do, somebody will always find fault or disapprove!  The range of things I’ve been judged for over the years struck me – I’m talking one extreme to the other here – so I thought I’d share to see if anybody else has experienced similar.

— I’ve been taken the mick out of for ‘being like an old granny’ for knitting.  For ages I didn’t tell anybody about my hobby, no matter how proud I was of the clothes I’d designed and made myself.  National publications featured my designs, but I made sure that only 1 or 2 people at school knew.  Surprise surprise, as soon as I brought my GCSE textiles project into school, along came the weird looks and ‘granny’ comments.

— On the flip side, I’ve also been judged by prominent knitwear designers who apparently said there’s no way that’s her designing.  Every single one of the patterns I published was my own work from start to finish, including those I wrote age 12.  So yeah, that’s judgements based on my age.  Luckily, there were plenty of others in the industry who were super supportive!

— I’ve been judged for moving on too quickly.  It would seem that there’s a token amount of time you’re supposed to spend alone, pushing all potential relationships aside.  This token time seems different for girls and guys of course, but let’s not even go into that issue today.  I’ve been on the receiving end of snide comments, not gonna lie.

— Apparently the subjects you choose to study say a lot about your personality.  Whatever subjects you choose these days, there are always people who will pass judgement.  From those who make sweeping statements that certain academic subjects almost guarantee you have zero personality, to those who doubt your ability to hit the grades based on not being the stereotypical student of a particular subject.

— I’m not fulfilling my potential, because I’ve chosen not to apply to prestigious universities.  Brains are wasted if you don’t take them to Oxford or Cambridge, apparently.  I haven’t even applied to any regular universities at all, and I explained why here.  My plan is a little unconventional I know, but somebody felt the need to text me in the middle of the night to tell me I’m making the wrong decisions about my life.  Funnily enough, this was the same person who told me my blog was useless last year, too.

— Choosing not to smoke weed has made me ‘stuck up’ in the eyes of some.  I don’t even know what I can say about this.  Each to their own and all that, but I reserve the right to choose my own poison thank you very much.

— I’ve been judged for having an online presence beyond Facebook.  People either really get blogging, or they really don’t.  I choose to write and people can choose whether or not they want to read or follow at all.  The passive-agressive unfollow is still rife, but not something I eant to engage in tbh.  I like looking at pictures of happy people, whether they be career girls, young mums, fitness inspiration, whatever.  I don’t get tired of it, and I’m not interested in judging their life decisions based on an Instagram feed.

Not the cheeriest of topics today, my apologies!  I guess the overall lesson would be that you just can’t please everyone, wouldn’t it?  At the end of the day, I still feel that you should just judge people on how they treat you and others.  It’d be so easy to fall into the cycle of believing what others say about you to be true.  Ironically I know that I’ll be judged for saying some of these things, but I’m going write it anyway so I can look back in a couple of years and see if anything’s changed.

lily kate x

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  • Reply
    16th February 2016 at 4:25 pm

    These are good things to write down. By choosing to put yourself out there into the internets,you are going to have more people knowing your business and having opinions about them. Seeing them all here makes you see how rude a lot of them sound.

    Funny about the Moving on too quickly! I was reading it right after the knitting and I thought-oh no? Did Lily give up knitting?! I had to click on the link to see.

    This judging business kind of sucks. But then you are just going about being yourself. The judgements kind of stick to the people who authored them, more than to you. So I will have a good think before I type something rude or petty or judgemental.

    • Reply
      lily kate
      16th February 2016 at 10:05 pm

      That way I’ll remember exactly how I felt years from now, right? More people having opinions is usually a great thing (all my lovely blog comments!) but can be pretty sour too I guess.
      It’s like the old ‘what Susie says of Sally’ thing isn’t it? Most of us do have a good think before writing anything judgemental really, it’s just the odd few who don’t.
      Lily did not give up knitting 😛

  • Reply
    16th February 2016 at 4:39 pm

    What’s that song? Haters gonna hate? You’re never gonna make everyone happy. But you make a lot of people very happy with this blog and the lovely work you do (I’m one of them! Lurking all the time but always loving your stuff), and aside from that, you seem to really enjoy your work, whether it’s the intense physics work or the gorgeous crafting.

    You’re a complicated person and that scares people. They can’t put you in a specific box that they can easily label (“beautiful,” “intelligent,” “crafty,” there’s too many options) and you don’t fit into a stereotype, and that’s alarming. When people get alarmed or thrust out of their element they lash out, and often that means they act like jerks, whether that’s by telling you that what you write is useless or by calling you names like granny.

    You’re so much better than all that and you know it. I’ll be over there on the sidelines with the rest of your fans, watching you grow (in a non-creepy way, this is starting to sound wrong!) into the amazing woman, crafter, engineer, and overall fantastic person you already are.

    • Reply
      lily kate
      18th February 2016 at 7:34 am

      Haters are always always gonna hate! As long as I make people happy somehow, that makes me happy too. 😀 Thank you so much for being a long time readers – tbh I think even I’d have got sick of me by now!
      I hadn’t really thought of it like that but you’ve explained the ‘complicated person’ thing perfectly. I guess it’s confusing when you don’t fit into one box.
      Thank you so much again Orli!

  • Reply
    Lucy Jane
    16th February 2016 at 9:49 pm

    This post is so relatable and I’m glad you’ve done it. What you said about the ‘wasted brains’ ‘perfect subjects’ and being seen as different for this ‘online presence’ is something I have been judged for many a time. I think being a teenager of our generation comes with a lot of ‘none doers’ and these none doers quickly judge the doers for actually doing something. As simple as it sounds it’s so true.

    You seem so mature for your age, something I think I am as well, so if you’re anything like me you were over the whole judging thing years and years ago. People mature so differently but we’ve just got to brush it off and stay focused on our self judgement and don’t let others hinder that.

    Infinity of fashion// Lucy Jane

    • Reply
      lily kate
      18th February 2016 at 7:40 am

      I bet a lot of young bloggers have experienced similar, with blogging maybe seeming really weird to those not involved in it.
      It is so true – there are a scary amount of non-doers out there!
      Definitely not worth focusing on the judgements and better to be happy about the positive uplifting people out there.
      Thank you for stopping by!

  • Reply
    Pendle Stitches
    19th February 2016 at 11:48 am

    You really can’t please all of the people all of the time. And you don’t have to. As long as you’re not doing anything harmful or illegal, then the only people you really have to consider are your family. The rest of them can go boil their heads!

    • Reply
      lily kate
      21st February 2016 at 8:30 am

      You’d really struggle to keep everyone happy wouldn’t you! I can think of a few people that could do with their heads boiling tbh!

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